I want to wish it away,
But I know it won’t go.
I should be happy now right,
My happy ending is so close,
I got what I wanted,
But it just sucks inside.
I’m not sure why.
But I’m going to try to explain.

I’ve been so used to being sad for so long,
I’m wondering what it’ll be like to feel different.
What if after all the joy, I lose it all?
And the pain I felt then is nothing compared to the pain I’ll feel when I mess everything up again.
Why does everyone think they’re doing what’s in my best interest?
Making my decisions for me then telling me “you’ve got this”

What do I do,
When I have no one to talk to and feel so alone?
I want to tell someone that I’m scared my expectations are too high,
And that they might leave me feeling disappointed like they did the last time,
I’m sacred I won’t survive, I won’t cope,
The change will be too much and I’ll drown under the pressure.
I’m so down because no one listens,
I wake up everyday with human beings who remind me,
Of my constant disinterest in mankind.
My parents literally want to puppeteer me my whole life.
I feel so trapped, like a bird with clipped wings
Or weirdly enough like a bird with a leash.

I get so tired on the inside,
And so sad.
People try to lighten up the mood,
But it only makes me more mad.
I didn’t come to you for jokes, I wanted a listening ear
I thank them anyway, I’m too drained to fight with anyone, that’s clear.

There’s no one to tell,
I’m hurting on the inside and I can’t tell anyone because I might just hurt them,
Do you realize how ridiculous this situation is?
I just want to talk about it,
I feel like I’m trapped in my own soul,
But everyone else is fine with change so why should I be worried about it?

The pain on the inside?
I’m way too embarrassed to talk about it.
My parents already think I’m a whimp,
My friends already worry that I’m too sensitive,
So what’s the point?
I’m only proving them right by talking so much,
But it kills me on the inside,
When everyone expects me to be so happy.
I mean I got everything I wanted right.
They all expect me to be elated, overflowing with pride
But I’m so freaking not.
If anything, I’m freaking out.