It hurts to grow.
And I’m not sure if it’s worth it.
I’m not sure if I can keep going,
Keep shouldering this Heavy burden.
Growing’s been tough but maybe I should be a little more positive.
It’s an experience after all not one of my principal’s old punishments.

To grow you must shed off old skin
Painfully evolving out of old things.
You cry in the dark wondering if you can really handle this
Playing loud music, trying to take your mind off of things.
You look into the distance wondering if you can really do this.

You learn new lessons, you grow new wings.
You go through experiences, you learn new things.
You become so much stronger it’s ridiculous.
You look and can’t recognize yourself in the mirror.

Growing brings so much change.
Something that I was once terribly afriad of.
What if I don’t grow up right?
Or what if I don’t grow up at all?
Stuck in limbo between two worlds.
Will my mind always be at war?

It hurts to grow but doesn’t pay to stay the same.
Because growth can be wonderful in so many ways.
Watching the weak become invincible,
Watching the broken become rulers,
Watching the terrified defend the poor.
It’s beautiful to watch our loved ones evolve, to break out of the shells they were used to once before.

What makes me fear growth is my sensitive mind.
That steals away my peace every single damn time.
Because as you grow older you learn a lot more.
Your innocence seeps away from you, you’re left feeling sober.
Finally relating to that other poem “the panic of growing older”

You’re left wishing to be a child again
To scream “mummy, mummy” and watch her rush to your rescue.
You panic as nostalgia hits, remembering that you can’t go back
And you’re left to handle your own problems
To fend off anxiety and it’s malicious attacks.
To me, growing is a bitter sweet experience
A mix of the wish to stay young and a desire to grow older still.

I wrote this poem a few weeks ago when I was in a bad place. I still don’t feel completely better but this poem help me put things in perspective. There’s nothing quite like poetry that hits you in the feels… If you get what I mean. I hope you found comfort in this if you relate to it as well.